All in a Day's Work...

Yesterday, I made a 90-year old man cry.

Let me back up a little bit and explain myself, before the Geritol Gang whips out their walkers and commits a slow chase of me around the block.

Mike and I had the honor and privilege to attend the Final North Carolina Flight of Honor, a service that ferries World War II Veterans from Raleigh NC to Washington, DC to visit the World War II memorial. There were over 100 veterans on this flight, including my friend Robert (Bobby) Lougee, whom we affectionately call "Loog". Now, I have known Loog since I was about two years old. In human years, that is 45 years. (( Do the math. I double-dog dare you)). I adore Loog, and he is like a Grandfather to me, and is one of the most genuinely, kind people I have ever known.

Anyway, as I was saying, I have known Loog a long time, so I pooled all my creative resources of Graphic Design and Illustration AND Technical Writing abilities and created the most glorious of all signs to celebrate his homecoming. Ok, it was NOT the work of art other people carried, but it was created and crafted from the heart. With poster board. And sticky letters, and copious amounts of craft glue. It was a fucking masterpiece I tell you. The Mona Lisa of Posters.

Mike and I waited 1.5 hours, and when the Veterans started filing through the Atrium at RDU, my heart was in my throat. Mike's father was a World War II Vet, served in the Aleutian Islands as a Radar O'Reilly-style company clerk, and unlike most families, he and all his brothers came home safe and sound. Part of the reason I was there, was because he could NOT be there. We stood, and waved our flags and greeted these men and women, clasping hands and expressing our most sincere thanks for their service. When they cried, I cried and when Bobby saw me, and saw my sign, he cried, and clasped me, and shook Mike's hand, and told us how touched he was that we were there. I found it extraordinary that he was thanking me, and my crappy handmade sign. He truly IS a member of the Greatest Generation, and I love that Loog with all my cholesterol-laden heart.

I Need to Wash My Mouth Out with Kerosene...Be Right Back...

GAH! See this bar? Lovely packaging. Looks delicious. Protein-rich. Good and Good for you?? I tried it and OMG it is thirty types of god fucking awful. I kept looking at it, in the store. The elements all sound good. Tasty in fact. I ripped open the bag to have a good, healthy snack and I was shocked to discover that I was really eating chocolate-covered styrofoam peanuts.

"7 Whole Grains on a Mission"!!

Yeah, to make you spew in your car...

Back to the kitchen with you, freaking hippies! And rustle me up some cardboard to eat. It is bound to taste better that this crap.

Harris Teeter, 8.30 PM, Tuesday....

Everyone knows I have a big mouth. By big mouth I mean, that I have the tendency to say exactly what I feel, when the mood strikes, not caring of the consequences, or the possible/probable ramifications.

Hence, 8.30 PM on Tuesday, at Harris Teeter

I told off 3 teenagers in a bronze coloured Honda Civic. They were tearing through the parking lot, and I told them to "slow the fuck down".

They took umbrage to my comment and yelled out "shut your mouth fatassssss".

Seriously? The collective brainpower of three people tooling around a parking lot, and THAT is the best that you three losers could come up with?

Fatass?

Seriously?

The mentality and insulting powers of today's youth are sorely wasted. Insults, when I grew up, were EPIC. The sheer magnitude of "Yo Mama" jokes was STUPENDOUS. Days were spent in trying one-up each other in that regard. We were hitting for the sheer-perfect, below-the-belt outrageousness and hideousness that could not find parallel in the English Language.

William Shakespeare could not POSSIBLY have come up with words so kissed by sheer brilliance.

Fatass??

Yo Mama is so stupid that when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"


Dat's Right.

Hide Damnit, Hide!

There are just days when you wake up, and all you want to do is pull the sheets over your head and block out the world.

A hard thing to do, sometimes.

For some reason, religious people seem to have passed around my address as some place to visit and talk to me about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

....urm..........huh?

I do not have anything against the religious, mormons, members of the Church of CHoLDS and all that. But please, 8.30 in the morning? Before I have shit, showered, shaved and shampooed? had my coffee? my Froot Loops??? that is just hellish. ON ME. I can understand your fervent desire to spread the word, but do you have to do it so fricking early? and at MY house?

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

pollen is kicking my ass.

Welcome to the Wonderland of 2012

I have not had the chance to catch this blog up on the wonder that is 2012 already. It is truly hard to believe that a year has completely flown by, and I shut the door on 2011. People were born; and we rejoiced. People died; and we grieved for their loss. I am hoping that this year will be one of promise of great adventures, new opportunities, new friends and interesting occasions. Such new wonderful technology is entering the landscape. In face, I am writing this blog post on a 2012 Nook Table PC, which is a great opportunity to love your technology ( and take it with you!). I am a huge believer in technology and I love all the technology available for use. I am certainly no technophobe, I believe in the "adapt or die" theory in Modern Business. My father, who is NOT a fan of technology, is pretty savvy for a 72 year-old man in the bloom of semi-retirement. He hated his computer at first and used to glare at it, and kick the CPU and groan because it made "beeps, and burps and chirps" he did not understand. Now he has a smart phone, and a laptop, and simply cannot live without his email and FaceBook.....

All herald the Modern Age...

They puts the geek in my soul...

I admit it. I loves a geeky man. My husband is a Grade A, Government- Inspected, Microsoft Certified Geek. I love every hair on his Athlon, IpodTouch inspired cranium.

The pic is Wil Wheaton. Check out his blog of Geeky-Ooey-Gooey Goodness at http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/

Worth every frakking cubit!

Merry Christmas Creatures both Great and Small

Got the Wilson gift home ( Kitty Play Cube) and as Mike so lovingly pointed out...Ween may not FIT into the Kitty Play Cube.

I said, " That's fine, we will just have a lot of pics of him with his head wedged in it and walking around".

*facepalm*

I have no idea why..

some things just REALLY strike me as funny as hell. The video above is one of those things. Farting is another. People slipping on ice is a laugh fricking riot ( unless it is me, than it is just not funny at all--it's all funny until I break a hip). Cars sliding into each other is pretty damn funny too.